He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
