Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
