Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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