omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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