Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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