Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My ass is underappreciated
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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