Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We don't watch enough power rangers
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
