At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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