Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
