why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
