Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
