I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
