Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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