My nipple is on Facebook.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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