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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue

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• (207): View more from Maine

  i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  probs a good idea

  (207): View more from Maine

  i like the whole idea of life and being alive

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  you sure you're not high?

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning

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• (619): View more from California

  definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Howd it go?

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra

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