I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
