Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
