Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
