She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
