I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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