How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
