My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
