I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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