from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
