O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
