On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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