So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
