I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize