She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
