so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
