Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize