Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
