I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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