also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
