yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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