what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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