More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
