I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
