bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
