Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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