i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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