I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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