as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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