So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
