dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
