Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
