Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
