last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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