When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
