I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
