God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You smell like stripper and shame
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
