just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
