I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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