I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
