the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Randomize
