Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize