Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
