Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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