Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
What a dumb baby whore.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
