No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
